WOHM vs SAHM

For years, there has been an internet and real-life debate between WOHMs (work-outside-the-home-moms) and SAHMs (stay-at-home-moms). I still don't get why there is so much strife between the two groups. It seems to me that it's obvious that some families work better with a WOHM and some families work better with a SAHM.

Personally, my family runs best with a WOHM. Noah loves his school. I love my job. Win-Win.

I feel like I have an important job that literally changes other people's lives. My life feels richer for the kids I have met/taught and for the adults I work with. For the record, adults who work with kids are generally some of the coolest people you'll ever meet.

And, in my particular job, there are a lot of breaks. Spring break. Winter break. Summer break. Fall break. And all the President's Day type days in between. So I still feel like I get tons of time with Noah. Not to mention the fact that I was blessed with 6 months off after he was born.

I guess this all stems from my friend Josh's blog. He recently wrote a post about how happy he is with his life and his gratefulness for that.

But it also stems from the judgement I feel sometimes from the moms in my community who stay at home. Why do they care what I do?

I can't say I am entirely blameless in this scenario though either. When I am at the park with Noah and ask another kid's mom what she does, often the answer is, "I am a stay at home mom." I usually feel incredibly uncomfortable after this statement, and I am sure that shows. I don't feel uncomfortable because I am judging the fact that she isn't working. I don't really care if she works or stays at home. I think the discomfort comes from 2 things:

1. I feel like I SHOULD feel guilty for working.

or

2. I fear that she is judging me for not staying at home with my young child.

OK, but the reality is, I don't feel guilty for working. This doesn't go for everyone, but in my case, I am giving Noah a more fulfilled and happier mom by working. I am also giving him a college education by working and opportunities he could never have otherwise. I am also giving him positive school experiences at a young age. As a teacher, I know that it is vital for young kids to learn how to act at school, whether their parents both work or not.

So why does it bug me? I'm not sure, but I wish SAHMs and WOHMs could just support each others' life decisions and let it go!