Discipline Philosophy

What is your philosophy of discipline?

Because of my job, I get that question all the time from my mom-friends. Maybe not in those exact words, but people often ask me for advice with specific situations and ask what I would do.

Half of the time, I am not sure what to say. That's because it totally depends on the kid. Of course, there are a few philosophies that I tend to recommend over others, just because they have worked for me with Noah and with the kids I have worked with over my career. It startles me to say that I have been working with kids for 18 years now, so hopefully I've learned something. Anyway, here are my 5 favorite resources to recommend to parents/ teachers and the philosophies I use on a daily basis, at home and at work:

1. Love and Logic, Jim Fay and Foster Cline, www.loveandlogic.com
I like Love and Logic because it works for both parents and teachers, so double bonus for me!!! Love and Logic has been very good for me because I tend to be high strung and this philosophy requires calm and caring delivery of natural and logical consequences. I love it!!!

2. Collaborative Problem Solving, Ross W. Greene, http://www.ccps.info/
Collaborative Problem Solving is a strategy I use more at work than at home right now, but I know that as Noah gets older I will use it at home too. I love how it teaches kids problem solving skills while at the same time helping them understand what works for them in terms of behavior and what does not.

3. Positive Behavior Support, George Sugai and many others, www.pbis.org
This is a practice of emphasizing the positive over the negative. Research bears out the idea that you have to have 5 positive interactions for every one negative interaction to achieve optimal behavior and preserve self esteem. Positive Behavior Support was developed for schools, but I use the principles with Noah. PBS involves having clear cut observeable behaviors that your positively reinforce and emphasize. You still address negative behavior, but you spend much more time praising the positive.

4. Classic Behavior Modification, BF Skinner, http://chiron.valdosta.edu/whuitt/col/behsys/behmod.html
Skinner first had the idea that you can extinguish an undesireable behavior and replace it with a desireable alternative behavior with the use of reinforcement (positive or negative or both). Your basic sticker chart is an offshoot of this. The stuff works, you can't argue with that!

5. My own commom sense and what I learned from my mom and dad, Ken and Mary McCullough, no website available unfortunately
Regardless of what the books and philosophies say, much of what I do to shape Noah's behavior comes from what my parents did. They raised four hard working, caring, wonderful contributors to society, and, well, you can't argue with that research.

I know this is way more info than anyone needs, but I needed to write this post to clarify the whole thing in my mind.

What is your philosophy of discipline? Leave it in the comments!!!